Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ulcer? Oh, And I'm Surprised?

Saturday night I was visited by a sharp pain in my left side. After a trip to the medical center Sunday afternoon, it was theorized to be an ulcer. An actual diagnosis can only be done with a scope by a gastroenterologist. I can live with the speculation because I’m not loving the idea of getting a scope down the throat.

When the pain hit, I honestly wasn’t thinking ulcer. In hindsight it seems so obvious. I won’t say it was a wake-up call, mostly because it’s so cliché, but also because I already knew I needed to change. What the ulcer did was let me know I’m sucking at the change thing.

Now the thing you don’t want to realize while you have an ulcer, given the whole “need to eliminate stress” thing that ulcers require, is just how old you really are. Because that was what I did while being driven to the medical center and it didn’t yield stress-free results.

See, I was still questioning whether I was overreacting. It’s a good one to ask before dropping at least a grand just to walk into the medical center (because my insurance sucks). If the pain was being caused by something life threatening, yes, I’d pay any amount of money to fix it. But, no, I don’t want to pay $1000 to hear I have gas.

As I looked really deep at whether going was the right choice, I was thinking with a 20-year-old brain. That was when I realized I’m closer to 40 than 20. A 40-year-old isn’t considered a hypochondriac because of a sharp pain in their left side. No, a 40-year-old, would be asked what took her so long to decide to go?

At that moment my ulcer knew it could sit back and relax. It wasn’t going anywhere with a mid-life crisis brewing. All the medicine and diet restrictions won’t do me any good if I’m indulging in the ridiculous.

My worry that me as “a 40-year-old stuck in a 9-5 hell” means anything more than me being “a 40-year-old stuck in a 9-5 hell” is ridiculous. It isn’t a prediction for my whole future, it’s a definition for now. And it only has to stay that way if I decide I don’t want to change after all.


  1. What did the doctor suggest your treatment be? Of course, an ulcer can be tricky. They probably suggested if it is an ulcer to treat with medication. I would try the lifestyle/diet change option first. But that's just me.....

  2. OOH, Ulcer! I had that same diagnosis. I did the diet thing. Your 9-5 hell, change it! Life is too short :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

    PS I understand to well the sucky insurance thing :)

  3. A good friend once told me about an ulcer : It's not what you eat, Roland, it's what's eating you.

    She asked me to ask myself : "Is this problem worth dying for? Is it worth the money I will have to spend if I don't understand life usually finds a way?"

    Of course, she was talking from the outside of my skin! LOL. I pray you find a way to enjoy the small pleasures and endure the big pains in a more stress-less way. Roland

  4. @Chad - The Dr said medicine. I'm with you, I'd rather change my lifestyle/diet. Maybe I'll try to go vegan if your experience turns out good.

    @Jules - Sorry to hear you had the same thing. I am definitely going to try the diet thing first. Besides it being my preference, the medicine they put me on cost $65.00 for 20 pills! Since you are familiar with horrible insurance, I'm sure you experienced similiar high RX costs. There has got to be a better way!

    @Roland - That is great advice your friend gave you and I will definitely be thinking about it as I move forward in my treatment. Thanks for your kind words!