Last night I had a nightmare that a June Bug flew into my hair. I’m sure this is of little interest and I only bring it up because of what it means. After consulting my dream dictionary and cursing because I wasn’t happy with what my subconscious had to say about me, I decided it was best to surrender.
The dream book had this to say about hair, “an outward manifestation of your thinking, thoughts, ideas and attitudes.” A step further, because the June Bug was tangled in my hair, had me looking up tangled under hair. It said, “indicates a strong need to take time out to correct this.” So what do we need to correct, obviously the June Bug, which is a “symbol of erratic, unpredictable behavior.”
So basically, I need to correct the fact that mentally I’m an unpredictable mess. And guess what, this isn’t the first time my subconscious has tried to approach me about this problem.
In a previous dream I was told, by people I have come to consider my dream guides, if my life had a theme song it would be “Hot and Cold” by Katy Perry.
Okay, lets all just hold on, take a deep breath and step away from the PMS soapbox so we can think about this a moment.
Maybe the part that needs to be corrected isn’t what I would first expect it to be. Certainly on most days I feel overwhelmed because I move through my time without a plan. I tend to go along with whatever the universe sends my way. And, of course, it’s frustrating when I feel like I’m moving in circles. Mostly because I can’t tell whether I’m circling towards something or away.
But the dream probably wasn’t to get me to change my chaotic, unpredictable ways. No, the point was to stop me from fighting it (because as you can imagine, the swatting going on in my dream wasn’t me trying to pet the darn thing).
I’ve had plenty of chances to have a calm, predictable future. But I rejected those jobs and people because those stops weren’t for me. Not because they weren’t good, they just weren’t good for me. After a while, instead of trying everything I thought I should do, I decided I’d do what I wanted most. I want to be a writer.
So, where does the best creative grass grow? I’m hoping to find it on the other side of fighting the unknown. And through acceptance, maybe I’ll find peace too.